self reflections, I wish I could be a better father

As father's day draws near, especially because of the fact; 1) that my boyz have little or no interest in mostly anything I do or like; my daughter and I rarely get along (teenager); I find myself asking the question "Am I good father?"

While I can admit my shortcomings in probably greater detail than most can; I am always remembering subconsciously that they are indeed NOT my children. When you enter someones life as a friend, co-worker or colleague, you hope to inspire and develop a friendship at least. But when you become apart of a ready made family it sometimes is difficult to accept your short comings and your faults, knowing that your actions and reactions are shaping an individual for the rest of their lives. To constantly change yourself and NOT let society or neighbors influence your own morals., but be open to acknowledge the changes that you need to make.

A lot of this thought process centers around something Wendy and I observed one morning. Geese are around the "paint works" (an office complex centered around a lake). This time of year the hatching's are growing daily. We watched as the parents were always least than 3 feet away regardless of the age of these youngins. I started thinking about the children today, who have strive for their independence as a teenager but as small kids, does society as a whole watch their children grow up or do me push them aside.

Growing up I remember spending quality time with my parents. With mom it was grocery shopping on Sunday afternoon. With dad it was watching sports on TV (Philadelphia Eagles and basketball, mainly) and throwing the football around in the back yard. As I drive here and there, rarely do I see that any more. Parents teaching and spending good wholesome quality time with their children. Most of the time parents come home from work, nuke a dinner in the microwave, pour a stiff drink and veg out watching TV until it's time for bed. There is nothing wrong with that sometimes, but on a constant basis?

I know I am rambling,
but I really wonder if the influence I have on my (step) children been worthwhile?
Have I taught them right from wrong?
Have I taught them to sweat the small shit?
Have I taught them enough of the dangers of drugs, sex and life's obstacles?
There is a certain amount of added pressure since the are not my blood. They have a father, who is rarely around except for holidays and birthdays. So it's safe to say, I am daddy. I have been the one to wash and bandage the scrapped knees and punish when need be. I was the one that used to force them to study and the importance of education.
It has been a tough job, and it will NEVER be complete until they scatter my ashes across the ocean, but I still find myself wondering..."Am I good Daddy?"